Negative parenting can affect a kid’s mental adversely. A lot of kids in this century are dealing with depression and stress. And thus mental health has become a very important topic these days. Every parent tries and gives their best yet there are things and behaviours which are not realised that create trouble. Let’s talk about the tips for good and right parenting.
1. Be Flexible
Sometimes parents struggle with unrealistic expectations and goals for their kids. If you find that you regularly feel that way, you may need to be more flexible when it comes to your kids and your parenting. Let them fly and don’t put too much pressure or expectations on them.
Read Also: Narcissism Around You, A Narcissistic Parent ; Recognise and Coping
Being a perfectionist parent is stressful. Not only do parents in this camp fear messing their kids up for life, but they also put extreme pressure on their kids to perform flawlessly. It’s important to take a step back and re-evaluate whether or not your expectations are realistic. Likewise, learn to be more flexible and let go of things that don’t matter in the long run. Both you and your kids will benefit from a more go-with-the-flow attitude.
2. Show Lots of Love
There’s no doubt that you love your kids, but how do you show them? Do you shower them with kisses and hugs as often as you can? Remember, embracing your child will make them feel safe and loved. So will holding their hand, hugging them, and kissing their cheek. Another way to show love is to spend time together. This is a great way to show kids that they are a priority to you. Just don’t forget to actively engage with them. This means putting down your phone and really engaging with your kids. Also, initiate activities, such as playing board games, enjoying outdoor activities, or simply talking with your children to make the most of the time you have together. Showing interest in things that they are passionate about is another great way to show your kids that you love and understand them. So, if your child loves painting, consider spending an hour painting with them or taking them to the art museum or an arts and crafts festival. No matter what your kids’ interests are, they can be a great vehicle for engaging with them. When you show you care about what your kids care about, that encourages them to be more compliant with your rules and lets them know that you love them.
3. Boost Your Child’s Self-Esteem
Kids start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents’ eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else. Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless. Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” cause damage just as physical blows do. Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don’t love their behavior.
4. Praise Kids Being Good
Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your kids in a given day? You may find yourself criticizing far more often than complimenting. How would you feel about a boss who treated you with that much negative guidance, even if it was well-intentioned?
The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: “You made your bed without being asked — that’s great!” or “I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient.” These statements will do more to encourage good behavior over the long run than repeated scoldings. Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards — your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are “growing” more of the behavior you would like to see.
5. Set Limits and Be Consistent With Your Discipline but don’t be cruel
Discipline is necessary in every household. The goal of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the limits you establish for them, but they need those limits to grow into responsible adults. Establishing house rules helps kids understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules might include: no TV until homework is done, and no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed. You might want to have a system in place: one warning, followed by consequences such as a “time out” or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is beating the kids when they don’t obey. Don’t do that. They will realise their mistakes.
6. Make Time for Your Kids
It’s often hard for parents and kids to get together for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. But there is probably nothing kids would like more. Get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so you can eat breakfast with your child or leave the dishes in the sink and take a walk after dinner. Play with them. Read stories to them and listen to their stories. Make them imaginative and let them dream. Kids who aren’t getting the attention they want from their parents often act out or misbehave because they’re sure to be noticed that way. Try to understand why they are doing a few things repeatedly and act as per it.
7. Be a Good Role Model
Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: Is that how you want your child to behave when angry? Be aware that you’re constantly being watched by your kids. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home. Model the traits you wish to see in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, and tolerance. Exhibit unselfish behavior. Express gratitude and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you.
8. Make Communication a Priority
You can’t expect kids to do everything simply because you, as a parent, “say so.” They want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. If we don’t take the time to explain, kids will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and learn in a non judgmental way. Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child’s suggestions as well. Negotiate. Kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.
