You’ve likely heard the advice, “Say positive things to yourself, and your life will improve!” Positive affirmations are often seen as helpful tools for boosting mood and achieving goals. But do they actually work? Let’s explore how they interact with your nervous system and why positive statements can sometimes feel uncomfortable.
Understanding Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are simple, uplifting statements repeated to encourage positive thinking. Examples include “I am strong” or “I achieve my goals.” The idea is that by repeating these phrases, you can change your mindset. However, for them to have real impact, they need to feel realistic and align with your inner emotions.
How the Nervous System Responds
Your nervous system plays a key role in how affirmations affect you. It manages your body’s stress and relaxation responses. Depending on your past and current emotional state, your nervous system may either accept or reject positive statements.
When Affirmations Help: If the affirmation feels genuine, your nervous system relaxes, boosting your confidence and progress.
When They Don’t Work: If the affirmation feels untrue, your nervous system may react with stress. For instance, saying “I am successful” while feeling inadequate may trigger discomfort or anxiety.
Why Positive Statements Can Feel Unsettling
Affirmations can clash with ingrained beliefs formed from past experiences. Imagine growing up in a space where expressing yourself wasn’t encouraged. As an adult, repeating affirmations like “I am happy and capable” might feel forced. Instead of helping, this could increase feelings of unease or disconnection, highlighting emotional gaps.
Why This Occurs
Emotional Mismatch: Affirmations that don’t reflect how you truly feel may come across as inauthentic, causing discomfort.
Deep-Rooted Patterns: Long-standing beliefs and unresolved emotions can resist change. Affirmations that challenge these patterns may provoke your nervous system to defend the status quo.
How to Make Affirmations More Effective
To avoid discomfort and increase the effectiveness of affirmations, consider these strategies:
Tap Into Familiar Positive Feelings:
Recall simple moments of joy, like savoring your favorite meal. Use that emotion to shape affirmations. For example: “Even though I’m anxious, I choose to focus on the joy I feel when I eat something I love.”
Trick Your Nervous System:
Frame affirmations as inevitable outcomes. Instead of “I am successful,” try “I will succeed, and there’s no other outcome.” This approach leaves little room for doubt.
Examples:
“Confidence is coming my way, no question about it.”
“Each day, my health improves.”
“Financial stability is unfolding for me right now.”
Accept Where You Are:
Integrate your current state into affirmations. Acknowledge your feelings while fostering self-acceptance. For example:
“Even though I feel overwhelmed, I choose to appreciate and accept myself fully.”
Embracing your current state reduces resistance. It’s similar to being told not to picture a lemon—and immediately imagining one. By accepting your emotions, you loosen their grip, making space for growth.
Aligning affirmations with genuine feelings and using assertive language helps your nervous system embrace change. This paves the way for affirmations to feel natural and lead to meaningful transformation.
About the Author:
Nehaa Goyal is an Empowerment Coach focusing on Family System Therapy. She uses EFT, somatic techniques, NLP, and inner child work to help clients heal intergenerational trauma and find balance.
